Morrocan Lessons

After our Nochevieja celebration and somewhat recuperation, my girl Amber and I woke up too early to embark on a new adventure: Fez, Morocco.

View through the beloved "Blue Gate"

Fez is one of the largest cities in Morocco, and one of the oldest. It is also one of the "least touristy" so we've heard, and so we've expereienced. The New York Times calls it "the soul of Morocco"

View of Old Fez. Reminds me of Aladdin. Magic carpet ride anyone?

The New York Times also says: " Fez seems to have stopped marking time several centuries ago (cellphones and occasional soccer jerseys aside). And like the water clock, this mazelike city of minarets, shrouded figures and forgotten passages can seem impossible to decipher — yet tinged with a deep enchantment"

Yes yes yes, NYT, you make it seem so magical, and wonderful; but the truth is that Fez is scary at first with its 9,000 streets filled with donkeys, decapitated camel and goat heads, rug salesman, men saying "hello beautiful, Moroccan men make great sex!"and people trying to squeeze every cent out of your pocket!



Our first hour in Fez was filled with mixed emotions. It entailed excitement to be in AFRICA, then fear of whose jalopy of a cab we should get in, and who we should trust! We had no choice but to trust the first person who offered us a ride. So we hop in, and buckle up (however my seat belt was broken- but Moroccan Lesson #1: some cab drivers prefer you do not put it on- they may even yell at you!)

When we got into old Fez where our Riad was located (Riad is a word for Guesthouse) we payed the taxi driver 100 dirham (Moroccan currency.. .equivalent to 11.6 USD or 9 Euros. He spoke to a 10 year old in Arabic, and told us to follow him. This is when we thought "what did we get ourselves into!?!?" Then we look back, and see our taxi driver RUNNING in the opposite direction looking back with the fear of Allah in his eyes. Luckally, the little 10 year old did not lead us to some torture chamber, and we did find our way to the Riad. Moroccan Lesson #2: you have to pay everyone. Nothing is free, not even directions. So Amber handed the little boy over a nice crispy 1 dollar bill featuring George Washington.

Our host at the Riad, Abdul, happily seated us outside in the garden and served us delicious tea and cookies which calmed our nerves a little, until he handed us a map in French and spoke shattered English to us. Moroccan Lesson #3: English is pretty much useless. Arabic, French, or sign language. Abdul though, he was an angel. He was always serving us tea, water, and even gave us beatiful souvenir plates with our names engraved in them! (we can thank Amber, his "beautiful princess")

Abdul, our amazing Host!

Whiskey tea and cookies

Well if I continue with every detail of the trip, this blog will be entirely too long and boring! So here are some highlights, lessons learned, and photos!

Moroccon Lessons continued:
4) When getting in a Taxi, be sure the driver starts the meter!
5) Things to pack: pepto, tampons and razors
6) Be prepared with some Arabic phrases- they will appreciate it!
7) Real Madrid or Barcelona. There is no in between! 
8) Don't ever settle for the first price offered in the Medina. Hit em with 1/4 of the price, because its actually probably worth less than that.
9) Pretend your from Spain and speak in Spanish
10) Moroccan Whiskey tea does not actually contain Whiskey
11) Just say NO. if not, you will be dragged shop to shop by shop owners family members
12) Try the Pastilla- seriously

caution: contains too much flavor! Chicken, parsley, puff pastry, coated with honey and almonds!

13)There are no rules for sanitation, nor are there garbage pails
14) Put down the fork and knife and get down and dirty with your hands! 
15) Old Fez is stuck in midievel times. New Fez is just like any other city!
16) It is perfectly acceptable to pay a random man with a big car to drive you around for cheaper than a cab
17) It is also acceptable for cab drivers to pick up someone else off the side of the road while driving you to your destination.
18) Moroccan homes are the most beautiful I've ever seen. Take off your shoes before entering!
19) Carry toilet paper with you at all times. You WILL use it.
20) Be Prepared for the unexpected! Anything can happen!

Tanneries, where fur is removed with pigeon poop and the hides are dried and dyed to make leather goods

shoes for sale! thank goodness this woman didnt try and charge me for her photo!

view of the tanneries... hold up mint leaves while there- it helps shield the stench!

brass and copper work

Moroccan Food is my new favorite!

Our tour guides and saviors Mahmoud and Mehdi!!

amber and I on a rooftop bar, probably learning arabic!

Our new best friends in front of the Fez train Station

Highlight of my trip, by far was the dinner at our guide and friend Mahmoud's home. We thought we were going over for Pastilla (photos will follow), but it turned ito a 5 course meal!!! On the menu: Pastilla, Moroccan tapas, turkey with delish Moroccan stuffing,  a roasted lamb covered in potatoes and green beans, followed by a fruit platter, then Moroccan sweeties!

Posing on our friend Zak's beautiful couch. I want a Moroccan Living room!

second course is served!

It got better! After a lovely tour of the Moroccan home, we were invited to sit next to Mahmouds dad on the couch... when all of a sudden his belly started to hurt... and he let out a huge fart! We didntk now what to do so Amber gave him a high five! The gas continued until we realized it was a FART MACHINE! We laughed so hard with our full and happy bellies!

post fart machine prank! still laughing hard!

In conclusion: Although Morocco could be frightening to an outsider, it is an enchanting place filled with inner beauty and amazing people.... just always be prepared ;)