09 November, 2012

FALLing Back to Normalcy (temporarily)

It came and went in the blink of an eye... again!  Another transatlantic trip under my belt.  Experiences so meaningful are difficult to put into words.

In real life, my trip was not all I dreamt it to be. I dreamt of sitting at a wedding spending lots of time with two of my best friends, my man, and my parents. I dreamt of showing off my university to Esteban, while reliving the past with many other great friends.  I dreamt of the Red Jug Pub, of T-shirts and Ho Chi Minh, of Hairy Tony's Nacho's and of Long Beach Iced Teas. I dreamt of walking up my college hills, of visiting professors, turning back time. I dreamt of pumpkin picking in a wild field and of making pumpkin pie and celebrating fall. I dreamt of jumping into piles of leaves and of wine tasting and drunk strolls through Greenport, as well as normal, breathtaking strolls through NYC while inhaling the scent of hot dogs and roasted nuts.

Well, thanks to an unexpected, freakishly unnormal hurricane... all plans were put on hold. Well, almost all. I still had a great time at my best friends wedding. However, I did not get to catch up much with my friends there.        

The next day, when I was supposed to be taking off for a trip to my school to see 4 fantastic friends (or more!) I had to make a tough decision and analyze weather maps and trends etc. I tracked hurricane Sandy and based on her projected path and strength, that I was either going to become stranded in my parents house, or upstate near my university. Bridges, tunnels and trains were projected to close. The threat of floods loomed over Long Island and Binghamton. I decided I would rather be stranded at home, with the comfort of home, my family and the few belongings I still had there.

I still got to do some things on my bucket list, like eat bagels, pizza and drink massive amounts of deli/7eleven coffee with flavored creamers. I also did get a pumpkin, but from a fruit stand/farm with strategically placed pumpkins (We did carve it though, and roast the seeds!) I did get to go shopping at the gap, target, and bought lots of shoes, vitamins and floss. We took a few walks, ate some mexican, lots of pepper jack cheese, rode the bicycle built for two, and had lots of family time. We also squeezed in a road trip out east to Montauk, then to Cutchogue for some wine tasting.
A beautiful Eastern Long Island Mirador

National Landmark thanks to G. Washington




What did I realize this trip?

Going back to the states doesn't give me such reverse culture shock anymore. It is easier for me to change the chip in my brain! I can easily maneuver a toilet and hearing English doesn't send my ears on supersonic mode. I remember how to drive a car with confidence and it doesn't seem so much like a dream.

I notice that I temporarily slip into a Long Island accent, and crave things I don't usually crave (i.e. grilled cheese and waffles)  I don't feel so much as a stranger as I did in the past, after a shorter time being away. Why could this be? Could it be that I've found someone that makes me so happy, that some void inside has been filled? Or am I just more accustomed to going back and forth?

I also have realized that coming back to Spain has become incredibly harder. The past two times (plus the time my parents came to Madrid) it has ripped me apart inside, leaving me with a broken heart, as well as exhausted, and craving chocolate. I've given this a lot of thought.... its all Estebans fault. 

Being with him makes me so incredibly giddy and happy... but it makes my dream of living in Spain forever a possible reality. Life in pre-Esteban times, I thought "yeah, I'm going to live in Spain forever!" But now, what if I really do? Can I handle that? That is scary... something so permanent becoming a reality. Forever is a LONG TIME!

What will become of my life? Where will I go? Can I get some sign, some sort of hint, of at least a continent? Maybe a country?

Today at the mall, I saw this quote on a picture frame, I had to look away and hold back my emotions... is this some sort of SIGN?


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