Despididas, Goodbye Valencia, and ok fine, I love you!

Where do I even begin with this blog? I can not seem to organize my thoughts, my emotions, or my belongings. So please excuse the space cadet- like entry you are about to embark on. Its more of my random thoughts rather than an organized entry.

Its that time to move out of our cozy and flimsy apartment in Benimaclet that I call home. The place we love to hate. I hate it more because I look around and wonder "where did I get all this crap from?!?!" I came with 1 large suitcase, a medium suitcase, and a backpack....
Im leaving with the same... plus a small suitcase, a duffel bag, and 2 boxes.. and throwing away/donating about 7 bags of clothing, papers, books, etc.

I am the last one here. In a way I am happy I get to peacefully organize myself, but it is also very sad and surreal for me to be the last one. To throw away traces of what others left behind.

I have said goodbye to more roommates, and more friends. I have said goodbye more times in the past 6 weeks than I have in my entire life. This week alone we have had a handful of "lasts" and goodbyes. Now that its my turn, Im despidida-ed out! Ive said goodbye to the same people what feels like 10 times!

Im not very good at goodbyes. I cry when I say goodbye to friends, to bars, I cry knowing its going to be my last time riding a bici in Parque Turia, or drinking a Horchata at Horchataria Daniel, or my last night in my favorite bar where I always felt at home. As a result, I try to stay away from my own goodbyes. Thats why tonight, on my last night in Valencia after a week of "lasts" and "goodbyes" Im OK sitting at home reflecting on life, cleaning, and packing.

I have had such a great time in Valencia these past weeks, and have become close with more people, and met many more people I hope to keep around a while. The month of July has possibly been possibly the most fun month all year. I was blessed to share it with Molly and Rosemarie, my partners in crime. We have shared many stories, laughs and good nights here with friends.

the night i taught everyone the trick to doing a great split!

But that doesnt mean Im going to overlook my overall experience here.  I have had an unforgettable experience here. Let's leave it at that... unforgettable. I often found myself asking Nora: "Is this REAL LIFE?!?!"

As I wonder around Valencia these last few hours, I find myself thinking "man, I never got to do that here!" or "ugh! I always wanted to do THAT, why didn't I?"
But then I look back, and I have done so much here in Valencia. Its hard to do everything, and Im satisfied with my experience in Valencia. Yes, I could have tweeked some things, but why have regrets? I truly learned countless lessons this year

Now that Ive said goodbye to all my friends who have already left, It's my turn to be the one who departs. Its my turn to say goodbye to a city I have grown to love. Yes, I love you Valencia. Im ready to shout it form the rooftops while wearing an "I <3 VALENCIA shirt that I have not yet bought, because it will not fit in my bags.

I can't believe it's really goodbye, or see ya later, or however one may look at it.
Is it ok to look back? To be sad? To reminisce? To doubt? To close myself off?  Is it alright do this while living in the present, and looking towards the bright future and fun that lays ahead? Where do I look without tripping and falling?